where is my christmas

as i am sipping on my tea infused with nutmeg and ginger while looking at pictures of christmas in tokyo on flickr, i thought to myself how i wished to be there now. looking back at home ground, the festive mood is sadly pathetic with the miserable christmas lightings on orchard road and how everyone is everywhere due to whatever reasons and situations.

as the classical pieces from brahm's symphony no.1 to rachmaninov piano concerto no.2 plays on, i'm feeling awefully down almost to the point of being depress. times have change and it's not as simple anymore where i can easily gather people for a christmas dinner. with my up coming posting looming like a grey cloud, i've somehow lost my christmas.

maybe tomorrow maybe friday, i will seek solitude in the lobby of a hotel with a tree all dressed up in the splendors of lights and colours. but then everything simple goes away as i walk out the door, the grey cloud is still in the distance and the lights are still miserable. and the music changes.

imagine a cold raining night along the streets where the christmas lights shine warmly like the thousands of fireflies in the night, and as everyone rushes off with umbrellas in hand with their gaze on the ground; the world suddenly becomes so lonely yet peaceful. i guess it's the cold, warming our hands with our breath but the festive lights seems to bring that calm solitude that you can stare at until the day breaks.